


Unholy Confessions

by violetshade



Series: Blinded In Chains [20]
Category: Avenged Sevenfold
Genre: F/M, mushy confessions, poor syn's starting to fall, shads in deep conversation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 16:13:54
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,611
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13080564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violetshade/pseuds/violetshade
Summary: The band gets back to NYC and Violet has a confession.





	Unholy Confessions

"Friends. Just friends. No fucking. You good?" Syn held Matt's face in his hands. M. nodded. They put the last of their stuff in the Escalade and headed back. They had eight demos, two almost finished songs, and the song they called, "Preaven." Shadows was once again a version of himself he hadn't been in a long time. Brooks had won shotgun, so everyone teased Syn and Zacky about sitting next to each other. They rolled their eyes, but an hour later, Zacky slept up against the crook of Syn's arm.  
Shadows had finally shaved his shaggy face, happy with how much the rest of his hair had grown in just three weeks. He ran his hands through it, letting it go free without putting a hat on.

  
Several hours later, he was nervously knocking on Violet's door, the guys behind him.  
"Matt!" Violet couldn't help the smile that covered her face as she jumped into his huge arms. He enveloped her and held her head to his chest. She breathed in his scent. Fuck, how she had missed him. The feeling of being held up against him was heavy, but interrupted as the others insisted on hugs.  
Zacky was the first to pull her away, his cute smile making her smile, "What is this?" When she pulled away, she held his face in her hands as she felt his short clipped beard.  
"What do you think?"  
"I like it."  
His bright green eyes caught hers and for a second she was dying to tell him how unbelievably sexy he was in their music video that was still breaking records and making people nervous. She lowered her gaze and turned to Synyster.  
He hugged her and dipped his head to kiss her cheek, "Missed you, Violet."  
"Johnny!" She hugged Christ practically toe to toe. Brooks gave her a hug and closed the door.  
Violet looked at Syn, "I'm texting Jade."  
Syn held her hand, "No. I want to surprise her later."  
"I'm so happy you guys are back! I need to know everything!!" She encouraged them to sit as she got everyone a beer. Shadows couldn't help but spot the case to their live DVD sitting on the shelf, open.  
She plopped down between M. and Gates, trying not to sit too close, "Well?"  
Shadows looked down at her, beaming, "Well, we have eight more demos and a few more songs that haven't been demoed."  
"Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you guys made progress. That's a whole fucking album."  
"That was our goal. We didn't want to leave until we had everything on the table. The last song, though, is going to require a lot of time..." Syn looked down at her, "And you."  
She looked around at them, "Um...what?"  
"We're calling it 'Preaven' right now," Zacky licked at his snake bites.  
Violet rolled her eyes, "You guys always did have a way with song names."  
"It's pre-Heaven," M. couldn't help but look her up and down, missing those curves.  
Her eyes got wider, "As in...for real?"  
Syn sunk into the corner of the couch so he could turn slightly towards her, "I know I threatened to write a duet for you two, so I was thinking about actually doing it...wondering how fucked up I should make it, since I didn't want to write something mushy, and it came to me. A prequel to Little Piece of Heaven."  
The surprise and excitement on her face matched the boys', "Are you fucking serious?" Then she practically started hyperventilating. She couldn't be part of something that was Jimmy's best creation--that was way too much pressure, "Guys, there's no way I could ever--"  
Syn shut her up by putting a finger under her chin, "I wrote this part for you, Vi. You're doing this. No ifs, ands, or buts."  
She swallowed at the idea of Synyster Gates ordering her around.  
"So...how does the story unfold here?" She cleared her throat.  
"Well, I tried to make it as fucked up as I could, so it's as much like Heaven as possible...so...you've been warned," He pulled the lyrics out of his jacket and handed them to her, "They're not quite finished, but that's the rough draft."  
The lyrics described sexual, dirty, mean, rough acts done by both parties to one another. It started out with both describing to the other what they liked doing to the other party--that they were meant to be together because they could put up with each other's dark tastes. The male voice starts insisting jealously that he owns her, that she can't live without what he does to her. The female voice responds that he couldn't possibly keep her satisfied alone, to which he basically tells her she'll see his side eventually--or else.  
Images flashed through her mind of her and Shadows screaming these lyrics at each other on stage. How the fuck was she supposed to pull this off? Especially now that she was picturing the two of them doing all the things Synyster had just described on paper??  
"Pretty fucked up, huh." Shadows dimples shined, "Syn's a mad fuckin' genius."  
"That he is," She whispered and glanced at him, jaw still on the ground.  
"You can thank me later," He winked at her, and then pulled a thumb drive out of his pocket and handed it to her, "Here's all the demos."  
She jumped up and plugged it into her speaker system, grabbing the remote. Just then, Raven came in the door without even knocking, also excited to see his guys. They all got up and gave him hugs as well.  
"You're just in time, Rave. Here's all the demos they brought back." She handed Shadows the remote, "You wanna take us through it?"  
Violet stared up at him as he raked his fingers through his long hair. It was beautiful, just wavy enough to be curling at his neck and behind his ears, layers of silky goodness giving way to those large hands. When he glanced down at her, she looked away, blushing. He smiled to himself, knowing she was feeling the same kinds of things he was. He took the remote from her.  
"This first one is Johnny's baby. He wrote one about good and evil. How neither will ever really win because one can't exist without the other," As Raven and Violet nodded to each other and then at Christ approvingly, M. pushed play....

  
The next two hours were spent talking and listening and sharing ideas. The songs were new and exciting. She loved being part of the process, only ever having heard the end result before--from them. But just like all their other albums, the material was killer right off the bat. The Duo couldn't wait to trap them back in the studio--perfecting and molding their creativity. Zacky and Syn had brought in their guitars and eventually they were meddling around as they all hung out and joked around.

After awhile, Violet got up, put a sweatshirt on, and went out onto her porch knowing he would follow her.  
It was just starting to get chilly outside. He wrapped her in a hug, already wearing sweats himself, and closed his eyes, just happy to be near her again. They sat on the loveseat she had outside and he put an arm around her shoulders.  
"I feel so much better about everything right now, Vi...I do want to talk about some things, though..." His face was still all dimples and relief.  
"Shadows, you don't have to justify it to me. I drove you into their, um, that..." She snuggled deeper into his arm.  
"I'm not making excuses. You didn't drive me to that, our situation did. I needed to do something like that. Be with someone else," He kissed the top of her head, "I hated myself for it the next day, but I still know it had to happen...Violet, I want to be, like, your best friend. I think that's just maybe who we're destined to be. And that means we talk. About everything. Including this Aaron guy. Or about those two girls. So tell me, what happened? Is it the age thing?" He teased her and laughed as she elbowed him in the ribs.  
"C'mon, he's not that young."  
"Shade, I googled it. He's ten years your junior...he didn't make me look bad did he?"  
She laughed heartily, "No, absolutely not. The first time, he lasted all of like 20 seconds."  
Shadows almost spit out his beer, "Nice. Not that it hasn't happened to me, but at least it wasn't our first time. What did you do to him?" He tried to stay cool.  
"I felt bad for him. He just couldn't handle that I came so fast."  
"Oh," He got a little more serious, "It's hard to handle sometimes."  
"You're hard to handle sometimes," She tried to make a joke to break the ice.  
"So...there were multiple times?"  
"Well you know he was in my bedroom." She was never, ever going to tell him about the time in her office.  
"That could've been before," He knew she was doing her best to dodge the question.  
She cleared her throat, "It was after. He called me out on it and I was honest with him. I told him I didn't expect him to wait around while I got over you."  
He held her tighter as relief washed over him. He felt bad that he was feeling better because of her pain, but he couldn't help it.  
"So what about you? Was it just those two girls? I suppose that was nothing new to you, you've probably had tons of threesomes."  
M. defended himself, "C'mon, like you haven't? It had been a really long time. I think the last time was tour in '08...I'll leave it at that. Yes, it was just that one time. It was hot, though. Sorry."  
He teasingly looked down at her.  
"I've actually never been in a threesome. It's on my list, I've just never run into the right situation."

  
Shadows fought with everything he had not to reply the way he wanted. Instead, his eyes just glittered.

  
"How'd you do with the video release?" He quietly asked her.  
She lowered her gaze, suddenly getting serious, "That was pretty rough..." Her brow furrowed, "I'm never uncomfortable with my sexuality...except when I was watching that."  
Matt was a little surprised, "You know you have nothing to be ashamed of, right? That video makes us all uncomfortable for completely different reasons, but we should still be proud of it--it's really good."  
"I know...I've gotten more comfortable with it since then...Rave...um, came over here to watch it premier with me."  
M. raised an eyebrow, knowing exactly what she meant, "That bad, huh?"  
Violet blushed, "What do you think, Matt? I've never been that turned on in my fucking life and that video will always remind me of that. It will also make me feel horrible for what we did to Synyster. That day changed everything and I would give anything to change it back." She uncomfortably looked at her hands as she played with her sweats.  
Matt chuckled lightly, "The first time we watched it...I tackled Syn to the ground and yelled a bunch of stuff I regret."  
Her eyes snapped up, "You didn't! What did you say to him?!" She got a little defensive.  
"Along the same lines of the horrible things I said to you," His eyes fell to the floor, "I feel so bad about that, Vi."  
"I'm pretty used to it, Matt-"  
"That does  _not_  make it okay," He turned her chin so she'd look at him, "I'm better than that...I just got jealous. Even if you would have, it's none of my business."  
Violet swallowed hard, knowing she shouldn't share what she was thinking. He saw the hesitant look on her face, "What is it, Vi?"  
"Matt...this is going to be hard for you to understand, but I'll do my best...in my past, when I gave in, when I cheated, when I hurt people...the worst part was that I was so unapologetic about it. I didn't like hurting others, but the acts themselves I felt like I had a right to do them, so I never regretted them in the least. That's what's so horrible about dating me." She couldn't bring herself to look at him, even though his fingers lightly touched her arm, "I didn't even realize it that day with Syn...I didn't realize it until the first time I saw our scene together. I would have, Matt. I literally cannot stop it...but the feeling that I've never felt before...was regret. The second I fully realized I totally would have slept with Syn, I was horrified and felt sick about it. I can't believe I would hurt you like that." She wiped away a tear that escaped down her cheek.  
Shadows wrapped her in his arms again, not sure what to make of her confession, "Violet..." He whispered as he stroked her hair. His hands held her face and turned it up so she would look at him. Her eyes were large and scared as he wiped away her tears carefully. His heart rate skyrocketed. He needed to kiss her so badly.

  
_Easy, Shadows_.

  
"That's quite a confession, Violet. Couldn't have been easy...what we have is definitely something different. I want you to know it means a lot to me that you would tell me that," He swallowed hard, "Good thing we're staying friends, I guess." He did his best to try and lighten the mood and kissed her forehead. When he pulled away, she lifted her lips slightly towards his, trying to get a read on him. His body stiffened and held her away.  
"Shade." His eyes flashed at her, "I love fiercely, with no regrets, and at a hundred miles an hour. Once I go over that edge, there's no coming back. I'm trying to stay away from that edge, but you have me teetering. I can't fall completely for you--I'm not as strong as you think I am...I'll only be able to say no to you so many times, I'm doing my best. Please help me." With that he pulled her closer and kissed her deeply, letting her know it would be their last. She ran her fingers through his beautiful, wavy hair knowing she might not get another chance. When she pulled away, she nodded.  
"I'm sorry, Matt. I'll be stronger, I promise."  
They sat back in their original position, his arm loosely around her shoulder. Both of them relaxed a little, having drawn the line.  
"Is Zacky doing alright with the video?"  
Shadows laughed, "Are you kidding? I think he watches it every night. He's the proudest of it."  
"Really?" She was relieved.  
"Yeah...ya know, I'm sure you've noticed that Zack has this goofy, awkward confidence about him that he's always had. He's confident about himself as a musician and that's what he thinks the girls always liked about him, but for some reason he's never completely gotten comfortable with his own body. So when he saw himself in that video and how much he's changed in a couple of months, I think it's a game changer for him."  
"He looked so different, so..."  
"Sexy? Yeah, I know," M. admitted because they had all seen it.  
"How'd Synyster do out there for three whole weeks?" She raised an eyebrow, knowing he'd been getting laid regularly and what it was like for them when if they stopped cold turkey.  
Shadows reminded himself he couldn't tell her everything, "It was getting pretty outta hand. He turns into a complete asshole. We told him to just go get some strange, but he didn't. He couldn't admit it, but I think he's starting to think of your sister as his girlfriend."

  
Just then, coincidentally, the front door opened. The couple on the porch turned around. Syn looked up from where he was torturing Johnny on the couch. He froze as he met Jade's gaze.  
"Jade?!"  
"Brian!!" She ran into his arms as he welcomed her into them. He had to taste her lips, so he insisted on kissing her hungrily first. A whisper of a moan escaped Jade's throat before she pulled away, "You guys are back! I had no idea, I just came by to check on Vi."  
"Check on her?" Zacky looked up from the couch.  
"Yeah, she's been a mess without you guys."  
"Whatever," Johnny scoffed, "She's been a mess without Shads."  
Syn pulled her closer so she'd look back at him, "I was going to come over and surprise you later."  
She grinned and bit her lip, "Really?" Jade had tried to tell herself that after three weeks he'd moved on and started screwing someone else.

  
Outside, Violet peeked over the couch back inside, watching as the two were reunited, stunned at what Shadows had just said.  
"Oh my god, you're not kidding, look at him. Is this for real, I mean, that's  _Synyster Gates_! He's never dated anyone!" She watched as Jade cuddled easily into Syn's lap after he plopped onto the couch.  
"We were as surprised as you are...I mean, most of us haven't had real serious relationships, but most of us have at least had girlfriends. Even in high school he was so focused. Always guitar. Always, always."  
"C'mon, let's go inside." She stood up and pulled him along. He was still fucking hot, even without being able to see the tattoos and muscles.  
"Vi, you traitor," Jade yelled when she walked in. Gates tried to quiet her down, "Hey, I told her not to tell you."  
Jade smiled innocently, relishing in the idea that he cared at all and wanted to surprise her. She leaned over to his ear, "My place? Now?"  
He was standing almost before the words were out of her mouth, "Alright, time to go." He signaled to the other boys. Matt and Zacky groaned.  
"C'mon, I can't leave you here and I'm getting the fuck out. We'll see her tomorrow, Jesus." They followed after kissing Violet on the cheek.  
Syn made sure Matt left in the Escalade and then followed Jade to her car.

  
It was dark. She drove a sedan. He threw his stuff in the front seat and climbed in the back, waiting for her to follow. Jade climbed in his lap.  
"I gotta have you right fuckin' now, Jade," His lips held hers hostage as his tongue played with hers and he tugged at her pants. She struggled to get them off and he edged his just down to his knees. The second he did, she was on him and sinking down his length. Syn wrapped his arms around her and closed his eyes with great relief. Fuck, she felt amazing. His groan had her grinning ear to ear.  
Jade started riding him and twitching her hips, making him groan louder.  
"Synyster--ohhhh, fuck..." She laced her fingers through his hair.  
"Jade, don't...fucking...stop--hnnn--" Syn couldn't hold on and crashed over the edge before she could join him. He laid there, head leaned back and panting, holding onto her hips.  
"Syn!" Jade whined and pulled off of him abruptly. Syn grabbed her and forced her back against him, "I'll make it up to you, baby. You know how good my tongue is."  
And he did, make it up to her, over and over again until the wee hours of the morning.

 

  
The band congregated at the cafe and got coffee while they waited for the Duo and for Synyster to show up. Violet walked in, better than she'd looked in weeks, followed by Raven. She had just gotten off the phone.  
"Where's Syn?" She asked, enjoying Shadows' reaction to her a little too much. He stood behind everyone else, trying to hide the fact that he couldn't stop dragging his gaze down her purple clad body.  
"I'm guessing if you ask your sister she can tell you," Brooks yawned as a few of them chuckled.  
Shadows followed her to the Keurig and whispered, "Have you lost weight?" Concern laced his deep voice.  
"Yeah...I haven't slept well or ate well in three weeks," She focused on getting her coffee and then looked up at him, "Don't worry, I'll gain it right back."  
Just then, Gates walked up behind Violet and kissed her cheek, "Morning, boss." He grabbed some coffee, a shit eating grin on his face.

  
_Glad someone's getting laid._

  
Violet rolled her eyes, "Now that you're all here...Kerrang is flying all of us to London for a long weekend for a long interview. We leave Thursday morning, so we have three days to record. Pick a song."  
They universally picked Johnny's song, since it was the most complete.  
The next three days were a flurry of extremely long hours, musical perfection, naps, messing around, nit picking, recording, and sometimes eating and drinking. The Duo took turns dealing with the perfectionist side of Synyster. Violet spent hours getting to hang out with Shadows or Zacky as well as everyone together. Gates came in every morning from Jade's place, chilled the fuck out, only to get wound up again by the process. Their goal was to finish that song and at 9:50 Wednesday night, they called it, having a product they were ecstatic with. Everyone was too exhausted to celebrate, and agreed to meet the next morning to go to the airport.


End file.
